I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
