This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
