you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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