I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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