My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
wow bdsm is so cute
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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