Don't you send me to vm
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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