He kissed a someone with a penis
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize