i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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