you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
