Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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