THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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You left your underwear on the fireplace
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
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Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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