Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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