Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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