what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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