Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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