Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
