He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
