yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize