come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
