i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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