It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
