I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
