I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
