Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
