U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sorry about my life...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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