So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
