Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Everything about him screamed your future.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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