Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
