why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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