Just fell off a train. Bad.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
