i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
