You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
