Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
