would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im six kinds of drunk right now
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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