So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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