Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
