At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
