My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You made out with two different species that night
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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