Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
