someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
