hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
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Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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