What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
