You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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