I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
