Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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