So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
