Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
