My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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