i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
