Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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