honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
