Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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