I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
