You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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