plz talk dirty to me
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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