It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
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I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
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Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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