I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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