I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
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